Mommy needs you Mia.
Come back to me princess
i really cnt believe tht happened
I never thought for a second you’ll speak to me again because ur GIRLFRIEND was making u speak. I wanna erase the last hr of my life just like the last 4 yrs :’(
If I Stay was probably a good movie….
I wouldn’t know
I think about how tight tht sheet was around my neck, how after i hung up the phone i sat there thinking and talking to Mia, then when suddenly my thoughts just stopped, i went for it I jumped. Part of me instantly thought…Finally. then the other thought but im not ready yet, well not tht im not ready but i pictured the girls. All tht within seconds so i freaked out, it felt like someone my size was sitting on my neck then with me moving trying to get out it felt like the person was now jumping on my neck. Next thing i know i was hitting the ground and i sat crying with my back against my house. One of the most painful cries ive ever had especially because i had to hold it in a bit, (didnt want my neighbors to hear me) so i just got up and walked to 912. i dont remember if my face hit the wall when i was struggling but somehow i have this huge knot on my forehead, i know my eye is from him hitting me and i hit it on the window coming off the fire escape.
im still really tired and weak, the lack of food and sleep is also taking a toll on me. i dont know what im gonna do with my life but i do know i still dont want this 1
im trying to find a reason to keep going, because this job isnt it anymore, im seeing all kinds of ppl, a lot of pregnant women, a lot of larger girls and i look at them to see if they look happy. i look at ppl faces too, to see if i can see their pain if they have any.
i feel horrible all the time now, thinking about the same things, trying not to cry, tht was the same thing tht got me in trouble at the last job and it like its happening again. i feel like idc about anything anymore
i dnt even want to be alive. i feel so stupid for having to drop out of school, washed my hair yesterday and a huge chunk came out, i feel so broken and alone, like im really worthless and i cnt take it anymore
i just wanna go now
i dnt wanna live like this